


Two Timing

by JenniferJF



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-08
Updated: 2011-10-08
Packaged: 2017-10-24 10:10:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/262280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenniferJF/pseuds/JenniferJF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because she lives for the days she sees him. But not all days are the same.  Or all Doctors. Spoilers through The Wedding of River Song. Sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Timing

She broke the kiss off – reluctantly – after several long minutes. Their faces were still mere centimeters apart when he opened his eyes, their green grown so dark as to be nearly black.

She knew him well enough to know what that meant.

And even though he was no longer quite as good as she knew he could be...  _would_  be... still, after that kiss, and under  _that_  gaze...

The corner of his lip curved upwards in a smile and she knew he could still (already?) read her as well. "River," he breathed. His breath was warm across her cheek. Caressing. And he was so close. So  _there._

It had all gone quite far enough.

She pushed him back with both hands on his shoulders. "You know the answer," she managed to say in a voice somewhat stronger and more certain than she actually felt.

"River..." he repeated, only this time, it was more groan than word.

It was that more than anything else which nearly undid her resolve. It was  _always_  that. Desperate need held in a word. In her name. And if she'd only been resisting for herself, only fighting her own battle, she knew she'd have given in years ago when his frustration had been, or would be, much more acute.

She knew with absolute certainty because she already had.

"I can't," she insisted for what felt like the millionth time and quite possibly was.

"You  _won't_ ," he corrected.

It was like a dance by now. And like a dance, she knew her next step by rote.

She smiled but let her eyes fill with tears. "You know why."

"Spoilers," he growled.

She let her breath out slowly, casting her eyes downward, refusing for just a moment to meet his gaze. Letting him see the briefest glimpse of shame and guilt before looking back up at him. "I can't. Please, don't ask me to."

He tried again. He  _always_  tried again. It was who he was. "Whatever it is, River. Whatever you've done... You know... I..."

Her finger was at his lips, cutting him off. And although she was never sure just what he was going to say, whether it was love or forgiveness or any other of the hundred ways that sentence could end, it didn't matter. Because he was right. She did.

"Spoilers," she scolded, trying to ignore his wince. In all the universe, he was the only one to whom it was truly hard to lie. She despised having to do it and, sometimes, herself for doing it.

Until she remembered why she did it.

For  _whom_  she did it.

And that he would one day choose the wait himself.

She reached up to straighten his bow tie, taking a long moment to adjust it beneath his chin. Giving herself a long moment to remember. Her fingers still rested lightly on the smooth silk when she asked, her smile coming easily this time, "So, will I see you again soon?"

He shot her his best crooked grin, and suddenly he was five years old. "You tell me."

She chuckled and his smile grew broader. She let her hand drop from his tie. "Good. Until then?"

"Until then... Goodbye, River."

"Goodbye, sweetie. You'll always know where to find me."

He laughed although it was anything but funny and, with a final wave, bounced out of her cell and into his blue box. With a wheezing groan that might have brought the guards running if they hadn't assumed (with some accuracy) years ago that it was some mysterious mechanical malfunction curious to that particular corridor, the TARDIS was gone.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The next time he came he arrived silently, which usually – but not always – meant that it was really  _him_. He adjusted his bow tie as he approached her cell. This also usually, but not always, meant that it was him.

Her heart beat a little faster.

He stood at the bars and said, "Hi," rocking back on his heels with his hands thrust deeply into his pockets as though afraid he might still be turned away. And when she answered with a smile and "Hello, sweetie," his face broke into a smile like the dawn.

None of which meant anything, actually, since he never really managed to believe, even  _after_ , that she'd always be waiting there for him.

But she was finding it a bit hard to breathe anyway.

He brandished his sonic screwdriver before unlocking her cell. That didn't mean a thing, either, because he did that every single time, too.

She laughed in response, which she also did every single time, and which was exactly why he did it.

Then he opened the door and, after she'd accepted his invitation to "Run away with me, River, at least for _now_ ," escorted her back to the TARDIS and followed her inside.

All of this was still, more or less, insignificant.

But when the TARDIS doors closed behind them and she offered to compare diaries, he shook his head and refused.

Actually, what he did was grab it out of her hand and toss it across the console room where it banged against the far wall before dropping to the floor.

Of course, by then she didn't notice. Or care.

Because it was him.

**Author's Note:**

> I believe the Doctor was traveling and visiting River both generally backwards and generally forwards relative to her while she was in Stormcage, backwards from Good Man to Wedding of River Song and forwards after that. His backwards visits, therefore, served as cover for his forward visits. River had to pretend this wasn't so to maintain the deceit.


End file.
